Friday Night

Today* I decided it would be fun to take my children busking with me. I had forgotten that performing music in the sun on the side of the road with children is actually a miserable experience. My husband was on a mission to get a gig for himself at a Mexican restaurant that just opened downtown, so we went along for the ride and he dropped us off nearby. It wasn’t my usual busking area, and people didn’t seem too fond of the idea. We got two dollars and one blew away before someone asked us to switch spots and I realized that one of my daughters looked really unhappy and would scare away any audience anyway. So we gave up and waited for my husband. He got the gig.

My first thought was, “Great. Now if I want to play on Saturdays, we have to hire a babysitter.” It was a bitter-sweet thing for me because I feel like I get stuck at home most of the time. I get bored, you know. I like to feel like I am contributing to the world, to my household, doing something other than saving us 15k a year and teaching my kids everything I know. Instead of sinking into my mini-despair, I will just be competitive, get all of the other gigs and hire babysitters [business expense?] on Saturday nights. This just limits my ability to do anything and everything. Now, I can only take gigs that pay more than I pay the babysitter. Once again, my income can’t always happen because I exist to help us not spend the money in the first place. It makes it a major hurdle in reaching my own personal $12k, and it’s barely been a week!

I am happy that Dave (My husband) got the gig. He plays instrumental songs in the style of flamenco or other kinds of Spanish guitar / world music stuff. He is the perfect background music for a restaurant. This gets us closer to our other goal of getting him more gigs and fewer hours at his day job. He deserves this gig as much as the restaurant deserves having him there to be perfect. This isn’t how I envisioned things, but I will make a way for this to work.

I forfeited the one dollar to the children. They bought gum balls. I’m tired today because I was up late at the open mic last night and the children were jumping all over me early in the morning. My gig for Saturday was moved to Sunday because of rain. My band is playing at Fete on August 14 and I have to sell lots of tickets. I printed some more songs that I want to learn. I now have a list of fifty that I think I could do with a few more hours of practice. I organized my song book a bit more and came here to write this blog, which will post on Saturday even though I wrote it on Friday night.

Saturday Morning

I got a good amount of sleep last night. Between the time I wrote the above blog and my night of sleep, I picked up a book called “Successful Women Think Differently” by Valorie Burton, a certified personal & executive coach. It helped me focus more on my goal than on my setbacks. One encouraging point was knowing that I am not alone. She says on page 9, “Or maybe, just maybe, you feel guilty about your desire for higher levels of success. After all, you’re a woman. Society sometimes sends messages that leave you feeling guilty about looking for success beyond family- the implication being that such success means you are somehow neglecting your family or personal life. It is a pressure men generally do not experience to the same degree.”

successful women think differently


Acknowledging the feeling and moving forward toward my goal was a great way to end the night. I discussed my feelings with my husband and asked him to be supportive of my decision to “Go to work” at night. I wouldn’t ask him to go to work late because I need help with cleaning the house of dealing with the kids. I would expect that he would give my jobs the same respect. I am feeling positive.

Another thing that was gnawing at me was the feeling of cramming for a test. I was trying to learn too many songs too quickly. I will take it a little slower and learn them well. Having period of focused practice time would be more effective. I do not have a deadline. Dave is going out to play a show with his band tonight. I will use that time to work on my cover act.

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